Diagnosed with ADHD and 41 Years Fell Into Place

Diagnosed with ADHD and Learning Disabilities at the age of 41, my entire life began to make sense. Suddenly, I understood why:

• I’d had to work so damn hard in college, 
• I always felt stupid despite my obvious intelligence, 
• I was such a slow reader,
• I’d never felt successful despite appearances to the contrary,
• I always felt chaotic and out of control,
• I’d self-medicated since the age of 15 ...

I could go on – 41 years fell into place. For better and for worse, ADHD was a silent member of my family long before I recognized it’s participation at our dinner table.

With ADHD, there is no piece of ourselves that is unaffected: personal performance, relationships, even sexuality are impacted by this alternate brain-wiring.

I share my story to challenge the so-called stigma of diagnosis, and to empower parents to support themselves and their kids. With understanding, we can teach our kids to confidently accept themselves so that they do not ACCEPT the ignorant judgment of others.

The clarity that diagnosis brings is empowering. Diagnosis gave me permission to focus on my strengths, and outsource those areas that are particularly challenged. For the first time in my life, I actually feel successful – in part because I no longer beat my head against a wall trying to do things that my brain is simply not well-suited to do.

More importantly, my grasp of the realities of ADHD has profoundly changed the tenor, direction and ‘success’ of my role as a parent. Awareness lets me provide the members of my family with the appropriate expectations and support they needed to manage ADHD’s impact on their lives.

I have come to believe that Parents are the Missing Link in the treatment of ADHD. I feel so strongly about the importance of parents that I’ve co-founded a national organization, ImpactADHD.com, to bring the effectiveness of coaching and the tricks of a coach-approach to training parents of kids with ADHD. It’s an incredible resource, and long overdue.

What is the proper way to respond to the reactivity of others?

At this moment, my hands are shaking and I can’t catch my breath. It’s all I can do to hit the proper keys on the keyboard. Adrenaline is coursing through my veins, and the ‘precipitating event’ was nearly an hour ago. What was the experience that shook me to my core, you ask? It was ...

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Navigating Partnership

In truth, every relationship of merit is a kind of partnership. And as life changes, those partnerships will change, too. But strong partnerships are a matter of intent. And there are some key “coaching” principles that offer guidance for moving through the maze of changing relationships with confidence and a kind of peace.

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Are your primary relationships more like a battle or a car ride?

Recently, my husband and I were in an out-of-sync phase. I was “dealing with some stuff in my life,” and then he was “dealing with some stuff” in his. Even though it wasn’t intentional, both of us started to slowly raise our shields.

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Life Coaching: Being in love is so damn vulnerable.

"To be truly in love, I run the risk of losing myself... Not a very feminist admission but I think it's the nature of the beast." In this piece I struggle with the vulnerability of being in love and staying true to myself. Join me in a heartfelt look at this constant game of tug of war.

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