Diagnosed with ADHD and 41 Years Fell Into Place

Diagnosed with ADHD and Learning Disabilities at the age of 41, my entire life began to make sense. Suddenly, I understood why:

• I’d had to work so damn hard in college, 
• I always felt stupid despite my obvious intelligence, 
• I was such a slow reader,
• I’d never felt successful despite appearances to the contrary,
• I always felt chaotic and out of control,
• I’d self-medicated since the age of 15 ...

I could go on – 41 years fell into place. For better and for worse, ADHD was a silent member of my family long before I recognized it’s participation at our dinner table.

With ADHD, there is no piece of ourselves that is unaffected: personal performance, relationships, even sexuality are impacted by this alternate brain-wiring.

I share my story to challenge the so-called stigma of diagnosis, and to empower parents to support themselves and their kids. With understanding, we can teach our kids to confidently accept themselves so that they do not ACCEPT the ignorant judgment of others.

The clarity that diagnosis brings is empowering. Diagnosis gave me permission to focus on my strengths, and outsource those areas that are particularly challenged. For the first time in my life, I actually feel successful – in part because I no longer beat my head against a wall trying to do things that my brain is simply not well-suited to do.

More importantly, my grasp of the realities of ADHD has profoundly changed the tenor, direction and ‘success’ of my role as a parent. Awareness lets me provide the members of my family with the appropriate expectations and support they needed to manage ADHD’s impact on their lives.

I have come to believe that Parents are the Missing Link in the treatment of ADHD. I feel so strongly about the importance of parents that I’ve co-founded a national organization, ImpactADHD.com, to bring the effectiveness of coaching and the tricks of a coach-approach to training parents of kids with ADHD. It’s an incredible resource, and long overdue.

Staying Power and Forgiveness: Keys to Supporting people with Addiction

Severe addiction causes a lot of pain and guilt for friends and family. Staying with a friend without getting too close, and finding Forgiveness without condoning bad choices is a recipe for success. It may not always lead to a happy ending, but it’s a way to manage the conflict with integrity and respect.

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My daughter cried. And you know what I did? I stayed.

It was all I could do not to smile at the sweetness of my 12-year-old daughter’s innocence. She was in tears, and I knew they were as genuine and heartfelt as any I had witnessed. They were the tears of her childhood giving way to her adolescence, as though the weight of the world was on her shoulders. It all began ...

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