Diagnosed with ADHD and 41 Years Fell Into Place

Diagnosed with ADHD and Learning Disabilities at the age of 41, my entire life began to make sense. Suddenly, I understood why:

• I’d had to work so damn hard in college, 
• I always felt stupid despite my obvious intelligence, 
• I was such a slow reader,
• I’d never felt successful despite appearances to the contrary,
• I always felt chaotic and out of control,
• I’d self-medicated since the age of 15 ...

I could go on – 41 years fell into place. For better and for worse, ADHD was a silent member of my family long before I recognized it’s participation at our dinner table.

With ADHD, there is no piece of ourselves that is unaffected: personal performance, relationships, even sexuality are impacted by this alternate brain-wiring.

I share my story to challenge the so-called stigma of diagnosis, and to empower parents to support themselves and their kids. With understanding, we can teach our kids to confidently accept themselves so that they do not ACCEPT the ignorant judgment of others.

The clarity that diagnosis brings is empowering. Diagnosis gave me permission to focus on my strengths, and outsource those areas that are particularly challenged. For the first time in my life, I actually feel successful – in part because I no longer beat my head against a wall trying to do things that my brain is simply not well-suited to do.

More importantly, my grasp of the realities of ADHD has profoundly changed the tenor, direction and ‘success’ of my role as a parent. Awareness lets me provide the members of my family with the appropriate expectations and support they needed to manage ADHD’s impact on their lives.

I have come to believe that Parents are the Missing Link in the treatment of ADHD. I feel so strongly about the importance of parents that I’ve co-founded a national organization, ImpactADHD.com, to bring the effectiveness of coaching and the tricks of a coach-approach to training parents of kids with ADHD. It’s an incredible resource, and long overdue.

Eight Tips to Prepare for Postpartum, Parenthood and Life

Elaine Taylor-KlausThe prospect of becoming a parent for the first time is damn scary! I mean, you take on a job for which you have no experience, it’s a matter of life or death, and it’s 24/7. Talk about a challenge.

I am a seasoned veteran of the shock of the postpartum experience. My first child taught me, the hard way, that the time spent preparing for an ideal birth was incomplete without equal importance placed on preparing for postpartum life and the beginning of parenthood. Let’s just say we had a tough first year togethe

So later on, in my years as a teacher of pregnancy yoga classes for women, and labor and delivery classes for couples, I tried to teach budding parents to use pregnancy, labor and delivery as a training ground for parenthood.

Now, after three kids of my own, and watching hundreds of new mothers and their partners fumble and find their way through the early maze of parenthood, here’s some useful advice for all stages of parenthood, both pregnancy and postpartum (which, by the way, lasts forever after): 

1. You can’t control what happens, you can only control how you respond to what happens.
2. Expect the unexpected and be prepared for anything.
3. Trust your instincts.
4. Learn to ask for help and support, and actually accept it.
5. Let your partner BE a partner – get over the ‘super-woman’ myth that you have to do everything yourself. If there is no partner, find an ally!
6. At all costs, maintain your sense of humor (choose laughter instead of tears.)
7. Create and join community wherever it presents itself. Loneliness and isolation start a vicious cycle.
8. Practice taking care of yourself.

Read the full version of this blog on ShareWiK.com, where she is a regular columnist.

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Elaine Taylor-Klaus is a Life, Leadership & Parenting Coach and the founder of Touchstone Coaching and ImpactADHD™

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