For some reason, my gremlins have been really vocal lately. They’ve been jumping out at the most inopportune moments, screaming loudly, shouting down both my intuition AND my reason.
And nothing is sacred – my relationship, my parenting, my work –everything is subject to extreme scrutiny and suspected of imminent demise! All systems failure. Things are falling apart.
Or are they?
As a refresher, gremlins are the voices in our heads that try to prevent us from changing – anything! Also known as saboteurs, gremlin voices are behind the messages we tell ourselves like “should have,” “need to,” “it’ll never work,” “why didn’t you” and “what were you thinking?”
Everyone has gremlin voices. We manage them - to varying degrees of success - with self-talk, avoidance, celebration of victories, re-direction, etc. It’s tough, though, since gremlins have access to our most intimate thoughts and fears. They have the inside scoop, and are poised to pounce.
Opportunistic little buggers, gremlins have no qualms about hitting below the belt, or taking advantage of us when our defenses are down. In fact, they are WIRED to shift into high gear when our defenses are at our lowest, when we are feeling vulnerable.
For example, a new client of mine came to coaching because she wants to be more satisfied in her work and is considering a career change. Immediately after we started working together, her gremlins honed their knives: “Doesn’t she know it’s financially irresponsible to consider any career moves in this economy? How could she turn her back on years of training? In fact, she should really give up coaching – it could ruin her family!”
Not!
We coached through those voices and I actually encouraged her to have a solid conversation with her gremlin. She assured her gremlin that she wouldn’t make any sudden changes, and she would not walk out on her job without a financially secure plan. An agreement was struck. Détente. Crisis averted.
Or was it?
The next day she emailed me. Now, she was afraid she would become complacent and not make any changes. Who do you think was behind that concern? You guessed it – another gremlin.
When teaching my clients about gremlins, I explain that our gremlins get louder as we move toward fulfillment. As soon as you start the ball rolling down hill, they are going to jump in front and scream “STOP!” It’s actually a sign that you are moving in a positive direction. When the gremlins are quiet, life is static; when they are vocal, life is happening!
So, I’m having a little “physician-heal-thyself” moment.
The gremlins have been getting the best of me, lately, and it’s taken me a while to actually recognize them. They had to get to the point of sounding absolutely ridiculous before I figured out that those dips in self-esteem I’ve been experiencing are really the handy-work of gremlins on the sly.
But what’s up with that? I’ve been grooving forward on my path pretty consistently for the last few years, steady growth and change, nothing major new happening that I can recall lately. Why now?
And it hit me.
First, I’d let down my guard. Or, rather, my gremlins have raised my guard, and I hadn’t noticed. This may sound crazy, but I’d become complacent to the impact of change in my life.
Second, I’d forgotten that loud gremlins are a sign of progress. The irony is that sometimes they arrive on the heels of failure. It is a fundamental principle of change that failure opens the door for success. We can’t walk without falling, or talk without babbling. If we always get it right the first time, we’re probably not stretching very much. So every set-back or “C” experience is both fuel for gremlin fodder AND an opportunity to move forward.
In the end, this is a cautionary tale: gremlin management is an ongoing process, and you have to be vigilant.
As long as you’re living fully, gremlins are going to find sneaky ways to insinuate themselves into your consciousness. Like gray roots in need of attention, gremlins will always come back. So, you must be ready for them, recognize them, and take care of the little pests, quickly, before they get a foothold in your psyche. Like a shooting gallery in an arcade, it can actually be entertaining and fairly easy to spot gremlins and pick them off, one by one.
But remember, gremlins are also the harbinger of good news. Their very presence signifies that change is in the air.
This blog also appears as part of my regular column on ShareWiK.com.